Effective Ways to Win Your Husband Over to Christ

"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the Word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." (1 Peter 3:1-2 NIV)

Peter was saying that in the same way believers are to submit to governing authorities and slaves are to submit to their masters, and as Christ gave us the perfect example of humble submission, wives are to submit to their own husbands. 

A wife chooses willingly to place herself in a position under the headship of her husband so that there can be order and function in the family. This submission does not allow dictatorship by the husband and in no way implies superiority of the husband over the wife. Submission is necessary for oneness in marriage. Wives submit out of love for God and selfless love for their husbands, even the difficult, unsaved ones.

Effective Ways to Win Your Husband over to Christ:
1. Be cheerfully and lovingly submissive to your husband. Have a humble attitude that honors your husband as the leader of your home.
2. Be morally pure. Be prudent and self-controlled. Live in obedience to God. Your husband should see Christlikeness in you. Purity not just in conduct but also in thoughts/motives and desires. Examine your heart if you're being manipulative. Manipulation is not a pure motive.
3. Be reverent to God and be respectful to your husband. Honor, esteem, appreciate, adore, admire your husband. A wife is to speak respectfully to and about her husband (including when he is not present). A wife is to listen attentively to her husband when he talks. A wife is to respect her husband's opinions, decisions, and actions. Even when she disagrees, she must treat him with respect. No sarcasm. No belittling. No condescending tones. No contempt. No eye-rolling. Quit criticizing his decisions or the way he does things. When a husband keeps hearing critical comments from his wife, he feels disrespected. We wives can have a powerful influence on our husbands and marriage by simply choosing words that encourage and edify, words that build our husbands up, not tearing them down. Our husbands need us to be their greatest supporters/cheerleaders. 
4. Do not nag or be preachy or argumentative. "A quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof." (Proverbs 19:13b) "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 21:9) Living with a nagging or quarrelsome wife will drive any husband crazy and likely drive him further away from the Lord. Peter was saying that the unbelieving husbands may be won over without words as they observe the pure, reverent, submissive behavior of their wives.
5. Have a gentle and quiet spirit (verse 4). This kind of inner beauty is precious/highly valued in God's sight. Inner beauty is highly valued by and attractive to your husband, too. Outer beauty fades but inner beauty is unfading. Gentleness/ meekness is strength under control. Being considerate, pleasant, and peace-loving in disposition. Not harsh or violent. A wife can show her husband gentleness in many ways: a soft embrace, a sweet smile, a kind deed, a caring tone of voice, and a patient understanding. Does your husband think of you as a gentle, refreshing, soothing breeze or a brute, destructive, ruthless sledge hammer? "Quiet" doesn't mean mute. A quiet woman is calm and not combative. She is confident in her role and secure in who she is in Christ. Her soul is at rest.

6. Do what is right (verse 6). If your husband yells at you in anger, do you yell back? "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) Do what is right by responding in gentleness, kindness, patience, grace, and love.

Christian wives' exemplary conduct and character will be more influential than their words/arguments to their unregenerate husbands who are disobedient to the Word. The husbands will see the difference (transformation) that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has made in the lives of their wives. Live the Gospel before your husband (and children). Your husband may not care much about what you say regarding Christianity, Bible, or God but he cannot deny seeing Christ in you. As you abide in Christ, the fruit of the Spirit will be evident in your life. Your husband will take notice and be drawn to the source of your Godly character and behavior--your relationship with Jesus Christ. "I ask each wife, even if your husband is a believer, to take a look at your behavior in this spiritual mirror and ask, 'Is it attractive? Does it make my husband want to follow my Lord Jesus Christ?'” (Steven J. Cole)

"In our daily life and service
Let us true disciples be;
Being meek when others hurt us,
Lord, in us may they see Thee!" (Bosch)

"Sometimes our witness will be spurned

And nothing's left to say;
But if our lives are true to Christ,
His love we will convey." (DJD)

Note: To read my post written for husbands, click here.