It's not our love for God but it's God's love for us that sent Jesus to die the death we deserve to give us what we don't deserve (forgiveness, salvation, eternal life with Him in Heaven). Sin separated us from God. God loves us and wants to have a relationship with us. Because God is holy, righteous, and just, sin has to be dealt with. Out of love, God gave His one and only Son to be the atoning sacrifice (propitiation/the mercy seat) for our sin (to pay the penalty for our sin once and for all/to satisfy God's justice and wrath towards our sin), in order to restore our relationship with Him.
God is the Source of true love (agape). Agape love is unconditional, sacrificial, and selfless. It seeks the highest good for another no matter what the cost may be, as shown by Christ's sacrificial death on our behalf. God offered His Son to rescue us regardless of our decision to accept or reject Jesus, His gracious Gift. "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) Christ died for our sins even when we're still enemies of God. God loves us first before we turn to Him...before we seek Him...before we love Him. He did not wait for us to love Him first before showing His love to us. God's love for us does not depend on who we are or what we do. God loves the guilty, the rebellious, the wicked, the unworthy, the ungrateful, and the unloving. God's amazing love for us never changes. God loved us to death (literally) before we did anything deserving of love. Christ's death on the cross was the ultimate expression of God's love for mankind. The most glorious display of His lovingkindness! We must follow God's example. Take the initiative in loving others, loving everyone, including the unlovable. Love like Jesus!
"When you love the unloving, you get a glimpse of what God does for you." (Max Lucado)
"We cannot choose whom we will love if we claim to be Christians." (Unknown)
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for loving me before I even knew You! Thank You for Christ's sacrifice for my sins! My heart is overwhelmed with Your unfailing & unconditional love for me. Please love through me...help me love others with Your agape love. In Jesus' Name, I pray. Amen.
"This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence:If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything." (1 John 3:19-20)
Obedience to God's Word and agape love (the fruit of the Spirit) towards people not only prove (to others) that we belong to the truth but also give our own hearts confident assurance of being in the truth. Our hearts are at rest (at peace) in God's presence because we know we are in His will; we are doing what He wants us to do.
Well, nobody (not even pastors or theologians) can obey God's Word and practice agape love perfectly all the time. Yes, we all fail at times. Our failures may make us question whether we belong to the truth. Our hearts may condemn us and make us doubt our salvation. This could be the work of the enemy (the accuser of our brothers and sisters, mentioned in Revelation 12:10) or the work of our oversensitive conscience. When this happens, we must trust what God's Word says about our standing in Christ, not how we feel. We know that God is greater than our hearts and He knows everything. God is greater than our lack of assurance. He says in His Word: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." (Romans 3:23-24) If you have trusted in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and relied on His finished work of redemption on the cross to pay for the penalty of your sins, you have been justified (declared not guilty) and all your sins have been forgiven as if you had never sinned. In addition, Christ's righteousness has been imputed to us. God knows all the good, the bad, and the ugly in us and He still loves us, cares for us, and forgives us. We are still His children. "The believer's ultimate foundation of assurance is the character of God." (Criswell) Even when we fail Him, He will never fail us. We can always depend on Him. God's love will never let us go. We are His forever.
John's intention for these verses is to encourage us with blessed assurance of salvation. "I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life." (1 John 5:13) Notice that John used the word "know" many times in this letter. He really wanted us to know all these truths so that all doubts can be removed. Be confident in your salvation; know that you're saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, not by your performance.
Don't let doubt discourage you, make you spiritually lethargic, and render you useless for the kingdom of God. Never give up pressing into God and pressing on trusting God and living for God. Authentic faith perseveres. Persistence and perseverance will eventually lead to confidence and assurance. 1. Keep going to God in prayer. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) "Prayer crowns God with the honor and glory due to His name, and God crowns prayer with assurance and comfort. The most praying souls are the most assured souls." (Thomas Brooks) Keep praying and asking Holy Spirit to increase your faith, to give you confident assurance, and to empower you to walk in obedience and to love like Jesus. 2. Keep going to God's Word. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1) The assurance of salvation is simply a matter of taking God at His Word.
No condemnation now I dread, I am my Lord’s and He is mine; Alive in Him, my living Head, And clothed in righteousness divine. (Wesley)
3. Keep loving God and loving people. Focus on these two greatest commandments and rely on God's strength and power to do this.
4. Keep throwing yourselves on God's mercy and grace. Again and again. Our sins are many but His mercy is more and His grace is inexhaustible!
5. Keep clinging to Christ no matter what and remembering what Christ accomplished on the cross ("It is finished!"). "For every look at self--take ten looks at Christ!" (Robert Murray McCheyne) The antidote to self-condemnation is to gaze and camp on Christ's redemption and justification. "When I cannot enjoy the faith of assurance, I live by the faith of adherence." (Matthew Henry)
"Assurance grows by repeated conflict, by our repeated experimental proof of the Lord's power and goodness to save; when we have been brought very low and helped, sorely wounded and healed, cast down and raised again, have given up all hope, and been suddenly snatched from danger, and placed in safety; and when these things have been repeated to us and in us a thousand times over, we begin to learn to trust simply to the word and power of God, beyond and against appearances: and this trust, when habitual and strong, bears the name of assurance; for even assurance has degrees." (John Newton, a former slave trader, who wrote Amazing Grace)
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?" (1 John 3:16-17) Every Christian knows John 3:16 by heart but how many of us have 1 John 3:16 at heart? Agape love is self-sacrificing love and it's required of us as children of God. Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. This is to be our standard and example of what love is. We are to love like Christ...to be willing to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Agape love is the supernatural love that God puts in our heart through His indwelling Spirit. It's a fruit of the Spirit. It's dying to self and valuing others above self.
Genuine love must be expressed in action. "Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." (James 2:15-17) Our faith and our words are worth nothing (meaningless) if we do nothing to help those in need. Agape love is shown in giving, helping, serving, forgiving, praying, protecting, listening, caring, bearing one another's burdens, sharing the gospel, etc. To lay down our lives for others (verse 16) and to share material possessions with those in need (verse 17) are examples of putting agape in action. We're blessed to be a blessing to others/to share with others (especially those in need), not to hoard for ourselves.
Are we always willing to meet others' needs even when it costs us (time, money, energy, effort, inconvenience, etc.)? Don't just feel moved but then do nothing. "Sympathy is no substitute for action."(David Livingstone) "No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions." (Margaret Thatcher) Faith without action is dead. Love without action is hypocrisy.
Prayer: Thank You, Jesus, for showing me what agape love is! Thank You for dying on the cross on my behalf for my sins! Please empower me to love like You. Please open my eyes to see the needs around me and show me how to best meet those needs. Please guide me where and how I should use my resources that You've blessed me with for Your glory and Your kingdom.
"We know that we have come to know Him if we keep His commands.Whoever says, “I know Him,” but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person.But if anyone obeys His word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in Him:Whoever claims to live in Him must live as Jesus did." (1 John 2:3-6)
The test of true Christianity (proof that we really know Christ, abide in Christ, and love Christ) is obedience (to God's Word/commandments). Do you know Christ? The word "to know" in verse 3 is ginosko in Greek, which refers to an experiential and intimately personal knowledge (as opposed to mere head knowledge). Is your behavior congruent with your beliefs? Obedience to Christ is an essential evidence that you know Christ. On the contrary, disobedience to Christ is a proof that you do not know Him. A professing Christian who disobeys God is a liar/a hypocrite. "The best evidence of our having the truth is our walking in the truth." (Matthew Henry) If we truly know Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, abide in Him, and love Him, we will want to please Him, honor Him, obey Him and His Word. We are to walk in the same way/manner in which Christ walked....walking in obedience and desiring to do our Father's will.
"If a profession of faith in Christ does not result in a changed life that hungers and thirsts for God’s Word and desires to obey that Word, the profession is only that - a mere profession. Satan, of course, loves such professions, because they give church members the damning notion that they are saved when they are not! They still belong to him, not God." (John MacArthur)
Prayer: Abba Father, thank You for being patient with me and for forgiving me! I desire to know You more and to make You known. Please give me wisdom, courage, and strength to walk daily in faith and obedience. Please mold me to be like Christ and enable me to please & honor You in all I say and do. May how I live my life bring joy to Your Heart! In Jesus' Name, I pray. Amen.
Have you ever tried to help others become aware of some false teachers or some authors who are teaching/promoting concepts that are unBiblical or to point out that something they're doing/participating is sin/evil according to God's Word and in stead of thanks, people accuse you of being judgmental? They usually proceed with Scripture references such as Matthew 7:1-2, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the same measure you use, it will be measured to you." They would frown upon you for judging others or they would say you should not be throwing tomatoes at those people and assume that you’re a bad, unkind, unloving Christian. Or they say…how dare you judge them, only God can judge…you’re so unChristlike. By the way, they are the ones doing the judging while making all these accusations without even realizing it.
"Judging" is misunderstood by many Christians. If you keep reading Matthew 7 further (verses 3-5). You will realize that God was talking about hypocritical judgment. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." The point here is that we need to continually examine ourselves and see if there are any sins in our attitudes/hearts/lives we must get rid of, and that we must not mind being judged by the same measure (God’s Word). I believe God wants us to have discernment… judging between good and evil, right and wrong, moral and immoral, sound doctrine and false teaching, etc. We are encouraged to be more like the Bereans (Acts 17:11). We need to compare everything to the Scripture, not just taking any man’s words for it…no matter who/how famous he or she is and not just flowing along with the culture, the world, the majority."Judging" is not bad by itself. We do judge people/their character when we choose friends "Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’" (I Corinthians 15:33) "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." (Proverbs 13:20) Good judgment will help keep us safe and keep us from stumbling. "My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." Proverbs 3:21-24
"Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment." Proverbs 10:13
"The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out." Proverbs 18:15
It all comes down to our attitudes of the heart. When we expose someone’s wrongdoings, what’s our motive? To warn others so that they won’t be deceived…so that they won’t fall into believing/following the wrong things…because we love them and care about them? We need to do this out of love and humility. If our motive is to bring that person down, to prove that we’re better, or to make fun of that person, then it is very wrong. We should never slander or ridicule anyone. We should remain respectful at all time. We may judge their actions but not their heart because only God knows their heart. For example: Johnny stole a candy bar. What Johnny did was wrong. You may call him a thief. But we should not say that he is covetous or that he is such a horrible, mean person…because we don’t know his heart. He may have been starving for days or he may have wanted to be able to feed his younger sibling or he has never been taught that stealing is wrong. Similarly, we do not know if false teachers are deliberately deceiving people or if they themselves have been deceived and really think they are teaching the right things. We should continue to love them and pray for them. However, it does not mean that we cannot or should not let others know about their false teachings. If you knew a restaurant or a chef that serves poisonous food, wouldn’t you want to warn others before they consume it? And if you know someone living in sin, it would not be loving to just turn the other way, remain silent, and let that person continue to live in sin/lies.
When you read my blog, I do not want any of you to just believe my words. I welcome corrections, advice, and suggestions. I hope you all do your own investigation on questionable preachers/authors, search the Scriptures, and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth to you. Judge for yourself! Remember, God already judges what's acceptable or not in His eyes. "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, and put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." (Isaiah 5:20) Speak the truth in love, grace, respect, and gentleness but by all means, speak God's truth! Don't ever sacrifice the truth on the altar of "grace", politically correctness, or fear of being labeled "judgmental". The ultimate Judge is God and doing what's right in His eyes is more important than what people think about us.
"Be still and know that I am God.” is one of the most beautiful verses from the Bible, but it’s not easy to practice in this busy world. Mornings with Jesus will help you do just that—“be still” in Jesus’ beautiful and powerful presence. For those who are seeking a deeper experience in their relationship with Christ, Mornings with Jesus offers a fresh perspective of who Jesus is (the Healer, the Son of God, the Comforter, the Good Shepherd) and what that means for day-to-day life. With a warm and friendly voice, 366 short devotional writings on the character and teachings of Jesus encourage readers to greet each day by drawing near to Him and inviting His presence into their day. Spend time with Jesus at the beginning of each day and experience His nearness and peace in a new way throughout the year. Each day’s selection includes: • a Bible verse • an entry based on Jesus: His words, miracles, and parables; His wisdom, compassion, and comfort; His mystery, power, divinity, and humanity • a “faith step” that will inspire and challenge readers to apply the day’s message to their lives
Spending time with Jesus is the sweetest time of my day (it doesn't have to be only mornings, either). I delight in God's Word; I still get excited whenever I open the Bible. I also enjoy reading devotionals. In fact, I collect devotionals (I currently own about 40). Mornings with Jesus 2012 is a devotional written by several well-known authors: Tricia Goyer, Camy Tang, Judy Baer, Gwen Ford Faulkenberry, Sharon Hinck, Keri Wyatt Kent, and Erin Keeley Marshall. Each day's selection is only one page long. I have read all up to today's date. So far...my favorite entry is from page 22 written by Erin Keeley Marshall. The key verse is 1 John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." As a mother of three (one is a special needs kid), I can totally relate to the exhaustion and the need to be stretched that she talks about. I love what she shares: "However, through the blessings of family, Jesus is growing another blessing in me--the ability to experience Him providing for me as I provide for others....As hard as selfless giving can be, heart growth is a sweet experience. As He blesses me, He is making me a blessing to others." I agree. I sometimes struggle to love like Jesus, but I'm thankful that I get to practice unconditional, selfless love in action everyday :). If you would like daily doses of encouragement this year, check this wonderful devotional out. This book would also make a lovely gift for women in your life.
GIVEAWAY: You can win a copy of this book. Deadline: 2/14 at midnight (Pacific time)
To Enter: Please leave a comment sharing about your favorite devotional(s), favorite Bible verse(s), or favorite author(s). Make sure you also leave your email address so that I can contact you if you're chosen (randomly) as a winner.
For extra entries(please leave a separate comment for each one you do):
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~ I received 1 free copy of this book via Litfuse in exchange for my honest review and 1 extra copy for giveaway. To read other reviews of this book, visit here.
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
God loves orphans! They are precious in His sight and are made in His own image just like everyone else. My family and I wish we could help all of them. We know we alone can't but the Body of Christ can join hands and make it more plausible. At times, it may seem overwhelming and we might prefer to shut it out. But we're called to look after orphans. Praying...giving... adopting...advocating...doing whatever helps! My 18 year old daughter has been advocating for orphans posted on Reece's Rainbow website on her blog and Facebook.
I'd like to introduce you to Hope for AIDS Orphans (a ministry of Cross International). Their main mission is to care for the AIDS orphans (14,800,000...as of 2010) in Africa.Can you imagine almost 15 million kids suffering with AIDS and having no parents?I can't wrap my mind around this heart-wrenching fact! These are not just numbers; they're precious lives who desperately need Christ's love and our help. Please watch the video below (if the video doesn't work, please go watch it on the website) and consider the 3 ways you can help these orphans:Express Your Care (sign their Angel of Hope Photo Mosaic), Share Their Story (share the orphan video with your friends), and Give Them Hope (donate to this wonderful cause).
We're very excited to help provide for these orphans through Hope for AIDS Orphans. Would you please join us, too? Any amount helps! Please visit the website for details. Thanks for caring!
"Without the renewed mind, we will distort the Scriptures to avoid their radical commands for self-denial, and love, and purity, and supreme satisfaction in Christ alone."
~John Piper
Sad but true, we have seen people, including those who appear to be "active" Christians distort the Scriptures to justify their sins, to serve their own agendas, and even to commit crimes. Satan knows the Scriptures. Most atheists know the Scriptures. Pharisees and false teachers know the Scriptures. What do they all have in common? The lack of the renewed mind (and transformed heart)!
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
Without the renewed mind, the world continues to have a hold on you. Self is still on the throne of your heart. Love is still conditional and selfish. Purity is only for nuns and monks. Supreme satisfaction in Christ alone...no way. However, the Scriptures are clear about denying self (Mark 8:34-36), sacrificial love (1 John 3:16), purity (1 Timothy 4:12), and the spiritual satisfaction which can only be found in Christ alone (John 4:10, 13-14). This quote from St. Augustine comes to mind: "If you believe what you like in the Gospels, and reject what you don't like, it is not the Gospel you believe, but yourself."
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
When one is in Christ and becomes a new creation, his/her old way of thinking and living has gone. His/her mind is renewed by God's Word and His Holy Spirit. It all starts with surrendering one's life completely to Christ.
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
On a personal note: I received a phone call from my doctor's nurse on Jan. 5th. She said the doctor wanted me to go see him so that he could discuss the ultrasound result with me. No, I'm not pregnant :). I've had intense abdominal pain following my menstrual period for the past few months. Anyway, I didn't know what to expect. I'm thankful that the Lord gave me peace during the waiting days (my doctor appointment was Jan. 9th). I prayed for His will. My life is in His hands and that alone gives me comfort. I, of course, imagined how I would feel/react if I had cancer. By God's grace, I felt ready to face any news. My mind and my heart agree that Christ alone is indeed enough. I hoped and prayed that Christ would always be glorified in me, whether in my sickness or health. When I went to see the doctor, he told me that I have a tumor/fibroid (bigger than a golf ball) in my uterus but it's not cancerous. Praise God! The longer I walk with God in this life journey, the more I find supreme satisfaction in Christ alone!
Christ My All
Christ for sickness, Christ for health,
Christ for poverty, Christ for wealth,
Christ for joy, Christ for sorrow,
Christ today and Christ tomorrow;
Christ my Life, and Christ my Light,
Christ for morning, noon and night,
Christ when all around gives way
Christ my everlasting Stay;
Christ my Strength and Christ my Rest
Christ my Wisdom, Christ wants for me the best
Christ my Well-beloved Friend
Christ my Pleasure without end;
Christ my Savior, Christ my Lord
Christ my Portion, Christ my God,
Christ my Shepherd, I His sheep
Christ Himself my soul to keep;
Christ my Leader, Christ my Peace
Christ hath wrought my soul's release,
Christ my Righteousness divine
Christ for me, for He is mine;
Christ my Advocate and Priest
Christ who never forgets the least;
Christ my Teacher, Christ my Guide,
Christ my Rock, in Christ I hide,
Christ the Ever-living Bread,
Christ His precious blood hath shed;
Christ hath brought me nigh to God,
Christ the everlasting Word
Christ my Master, Christ my Head
Christ who for my sins hath bled;
Christ my Comforter on high,
Christ my Hope, draws ever nigh.
(Source unknown)
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
This is one of my all-time favorite songs. In Christ alone, I am who I am today...born again and blessed!
"The great mistake made by most of the Lord's people is in hoping to discover in themselves that which is to be found in Christ alone." A.W. Pink
In Christ we have... a love that can never be fathomed, a life that can never die, a peace that can never be understood, a rest that can never be disturbed, a joy that can never be diminished, a hope that can never be disappointed, a glory that can never be clouded, a light that can never be darkened, and a spiritual resource that can never be exhausted. ~Unknown
You're invited to share your thoughts about the quote above (by John Piper) on your blog and then link up your post here. To learn more about "In Other Words"(what it's about, how it works, and how it originated), visit here. This post is also linked up with Brag on God Friday @Beholding Glory, Spiritual Sundays, Sharing His Beauty @The Beauty in His Grip, Playdates with God at The Wellspring, and "Hear It, Use It" @Graceful.
P.S. I would like to invite you all to join my page, "Christ Alone" on Facebook. Please feel free to post there anything that is Christ-honoring and feel free to invite your friends to check it out. I dedicate that page to Christ and for His glory alone.
It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!
You never know when I might play a wild card on you!
***Special thanks to Audra Jennings – The B&B Media Group – for sending me a review copy.***
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Edward T. Welch, M.Div., Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He has counseled for over twenty-five years and is the best-selling author of many books, including When People Are Big and God Is Small; Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave; Blame It on the Brain?; Depression: A Stubborn Darkness; Crossroads: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Addiction; Running Scared: Fear, Worry and the God of Rest; and When I Am Afraid: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Fear and Anxiety. He and his wife Sheri have two daughters, two sons-in-law and four grandchildren.
In his latest release, author Edward T. Welch offers a way of escape for young adults held captive by the opinions of others. In an increasingly unstable culture, being obsessed with what others think is an escalating struggle among teens and young adults, leading to more serious consequences than ever before. Although everyone—whether they’re sixteen or sixty—works hard to win someone’s approval or ward off someone’s rejection, these issues plague teenagers and young adults with particular intensity. And how teens and young adults answer the big questions of their lives now will affect the direction of their adult lives for better or worse. In his new book, What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life (New Growth Press, October 2011), Edward T. Welch extends hope to those weary of hiding behind a mask of performance in order to gain love and acceptance.
Peer pressure, codependency, shame, low self-esteem—these are just some of the words used to identify how young people can be controlled by the perceived opinions of others. Stand out in the right way to the right people, and you’re on top of the world. But experience failure in front of those same people and prepare for a sinking sensation in your stomach and a night of tossing and turning.
Why do you care? Why do we all care? These are questions that can’t be answered without listening to God, the One who made us and knows us better than we know ourselves. In What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care? Welch takes the big questions of life and shows that freedom from what people think of us comes as we learn who God is and who we are in relationship to Him. Only then will we be able to let go of our masks, stop trying to fill our leaky love cups and begin to live for something bigger than ourselves.
An interactive book, What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care? includes questions throughout the text for individual or group study and is especially aimed at teenagers and young adults. A corresponding website rich with controversy and dialogue, My-Big-Life-Question.com, will also offer readers a place to discuss personal needs as well as to find other resources for life’s journey and places to go for help.
“I want to draw people to the path of becoming truly human, where you are controlled by God more than other people and where you love others more than you need them to love you,” says Welch. “The result? Genuine loving relationships and the ability to make a lasting impact on the world around us. It’s a hard process, but it’s wonderful and the results are worth it.”
Product Details:
List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 160 pages
Publisher: New Growth Press (October 1, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1935273868
ISBN-13: 978-1935273868
MY THOUGHTS AND REVIEW:
If you have been a teenager before/are a teenager now/have a teenager living with you, you know how huge peer pressure is. It's easy to tell teenagers not to care about what others think of them but that advice would likely go in one ear and out the other. This book was written for readers ages 15-25. However, preteens and even older people can benefit from it. While older people may care somewhat less about what others think of them and have face concern about totally different things, they are still affected by the opinions of others. The cure for the fear of man is the fear of God...more accurately, the love of God. Dr. Welch encourages readers to find their acceptance, affirmation, and affection in Christ, not in people. How we view ourselves, God, and others makes a big difference in how we act and react! Dr. Welch uses the Scriptures, Jesus, and examples of some great men in the Bible to guide readers and give answers to important questions in life. If you desire to freely live for God, aiming to please Him instead of men, check this book out.
"True freedom in your relationships comes when the scales are always a little unbalanced: You want the weight to be more on the "love" side than the "be loved" side." (p. 114)
"When God says that we should do everything for His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31), He is saying that our lives are intended to make Him famous, not ourselves...How do you do it? Start by praying. First, that you would know Him and His love. Second, that you would love others in a way that would increase His fame. Then think in terms of small steps of love. Keep in step with what the Spirit is doing." (p. 122)
Great questions at the end of the book: "You are seeking to worship God more than the opinions of others? Do you want to love people even if they don't love you as you would like?" (p. 145) Hopefully, you would answer "yes" :)!
AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:
Somebody is Watching
“Lord, please let me be normal.”
Okay, maybe you never actually prayed that, but you do want it. You want to fit in. Who doesn’t? Imagine you are invited to a formal dinner, but you didn’t read the entire invitation and you go in shorts and flip-flops. (Yes, it wasn’t pretty. I was also wearing a Killer Dana T-shirt—it’s the name of a surf shop, but the other dinner guests thought I was going gangsta.)
We all have these stories. We spend a lot of time concerned about fitting in, which means that we spend a lot of time thinking about our hair, our body, our intelligence, and our clothes so we can be part of the larger group. None of us want to be stared at if it means that the people looking at us don’t like what they see. When they look at us that way we want to run and hide.
Oh, and there is another prayer too. “Lord, please don’t let me be normal.” “If I can’t fit in, then I’ll be a vampire,” and she did just that. She figured that both fitting in and standing out were impossible, so she made a choice. Her parents would have preferred a more traditional route such as starting on the basketball team or high SAT scores. They are hoping it is a phase, which it is—there are not many fifty-year-old vampires. But, unless she discovers something else to run her life, she will always be looking for ways to stand out, and she will be depressed.
We want to stand out from the crowd. We want to be seen, which means that we want people to notice us and be impressed with something. We want them to respect us, to like us, and to love us. Not too many people dream of being average. Take a look at your fantasies, and you will probably find a quest to be noticed.
• Have you ever imagined that you scored the winning basket in the NBA finals?
• Do you enjoy superhero movies because you like to imagine what it would be like to have such powers?
• Do you identify with a celebrity because you would like to live her life, at least for a year or two?
• Have you ever fantasized that you were famous or great?
• Or maybe you have already given up on greatness and will settle for a B+.
It’s complicated, isn’t it? If only we could be less controlled by the opinions of others. Maybe a deserted island could be the answer. That would be a pricey way to avoid the judgments of others, but it might work. Apart from that option, you have a creepy sense that people are watching, judging, evaluating, accepting, or rejecting you. Sometimes the eyes belong to no one in particular. Other times you know exactly who or what group you are trying to please. Either way, you are controlled by other people more than you think, and other people, of course, are controlled by how you see them.
The problem is a common one, but we don’t talk about it too often. As a way to get it out into the open, keep trying to locate this in your own life.
• Do you buy clothes because of what other people will think? Have you ever not gone somewhere because you didn’t have the right clothes or didn’t like the way you looked?
• Do you spend a lot of time in front of the mirror?
• Do you avoid people, either because you are angry with them or because you would be embarrassed if they saw you?
• Do you ever get embarrassed to be seen with your parents?
• Have you ever been embarrassed at the thought of other people knowing that you go to church?
• Have you ever been embarrassed to say you believe in God?
• Have you ever been embarrassed to say you believe in Jesus?
• Do you ever exaggerate to make yourself look better?
• Do you feel like a failure sometimes? Do you hate school because from the moment you walk in you feel like a failure?
• Are you afraid to ask questions in class because you might look stupid?
• Do you wish you were thinner, stronger, taller, shorter, smarter, faster, or better looking?
• Have you ever been jealous of someone thinner, stronger, taller, shorter, smarter, faster, or better looking?
• Have you ever wished you could shrivel up and disappear?
Agreed, these questions are too easy. You might hesitate on one or two of them, but basically the answer is yes across the board, and they are that way for everyone. They all point to how we can be too controlled by the opinions of others. Why do you think everyone struggles with it? Where does it come from?
One of the riskiest things in life is to like someone—really like someone. It all starts innocently. You find yourself attracted to another person. Happens all the time. No big deal. But then the attraction grows, and amid the glow of romantic feelings lurks a monster: what if you like the other person more than the other person likes you? What will he or she think about me? you wonder.
You send some friends out on a reconnaissance mission. Their job is to find out if the other person likes you without that person knowing your intentions. If word comes back yes, you can move toward that person safely. If the answer is no, you lick your wounds, thankful for the heads-up that saved you from total embarrassment. In your every- day life, the potential for rejection is enormous. It’s amazing that so many people actually get out of bed in the morning. Sound familiar?
Success can’t protect you. Steven King, the ridiculously prolific and famous horror writer, was told by Miss Hisler, his school principal, “What I don’t understand, Stevie, is why you write junk like this in the first place.” At the time, he was already writing scary stories that other students were willing to pay to read. “I was ashamed,” he says of the incident. “I have spent a good many years since—too many, I think—being ashamed about what I write.”* You too have probably heard words like Miss Hisler’s, and they are still etched inside your soul. Can you think of some?
Look around a little more and you will see it—it goes by many names: a desire for acceptance, the fear of rejection, painful self- consciousness, or peer pressure. You can see it when you or any of your friends take muscle-enhancing steroids or illegal drugs. You see it in anorexia, bulimia, and depression. You find it in people who are sexually active before or outside of marriage.
• What will they think of me?
• What might they think about me?
• How can I be accepted?
• How can I be loved?
The evidence is everywhere. If you can’t relate to any of this, here is a sure way to find it.
• Do you think you’re especially attractive?
• Are you supercompetitive? Do you hate to lose? (And do you usually win?)
• Would you say you are self-confident?
There it is again: a life that is always judged by others. The only difference is that, at least for the moment, the judges score you highly. Yet it is even more complicated. Deep down those who are super self-confident don’t believe the judges’ high scores. They feel like failures— frauds who are barely fooling other people. Do you think beautiful celebrities struggle with feeling judged and unaccepted by others? Count on it.
Some people seem more self-confident or at least less self-conscious than others. It’s hard to know exactly why, but everyone can easily recall times when they withered under the rejection (or possible rejection) of other people.
I know, I know. You were trying to manage this perfectly common experience by ignoring it, and somebody (me) comes along and makes an issue out of it. But my purpose is not to make you miserable. Stick with it, because this particular problem is actually a window into the mysteries of the universe. It takes you directly to three questions that every human being must answer: Who am I? Who is God? and Who are you? And there is no way I would invite you down this road unless the road was very good.
An interview with the author, Ed Welch
Q: What are some questions we can ask ourselves to determine if we are being too controlled by the opinions of others?
The list is a long one here. Am I angry? hopeless? self-protective? afraid? ashamed? depressed? withdrawing? Do I lie to make myself look better? Do I try to attach myself to the celebrity or popular person with the hope of enhancing my own reputation?
Q: Can you explain the term “peer pressure” and what it really means?
I don’t hear this word as much as I once did. It usually means that we are willing to do things we wouldn’t normally do as a way to be accepted by others. There is a good kind of peer pressure, when a youth group really wants to know Jesus better, but that’s not the way it usually happens. We have a lot of the Old Testament biographies in us, and in those cases when a person who belonged to God met a person who loved his or her idols, the follower of God started following the idols and not vice versa. Of course, in the age of the Spirit that can be different.
Q: You say that so much of life comes down to three questions. Can you tell us what they are and how we can find the answers to them?
The questions are Who is God? Who am I? and Who are you? The answers can be a little difficult to discover. Most of us know the correct theological answers to these questions, but there are the correct ones and then there are the ones we really believe. That why the topic of the opinions of other people is so handy. It can surprise us with our REAL answers to those questions.
So what are some of the real answers?
Who is God? Picky, distant, nice but irrelevant.
Who am I? Needy, I must find an identity in myself - who I am and what I do? The problem is that God isn’t very relevant and other people don’t solve the problem because I am a never ending hole that is looking to others so I can feel okay about myself.
Who are you? A threat, a god.
If we use these three basic questions, the question about God tends to be irrelevant, which is at the very heart of the problem. The normal answer is, he loves me [but so what?].
Why doesn’t his love make that much difference? It’s because other people have become our substitute god. The only way that God’s love becomes relevant is for “Why do I care?” to become a confession, as in “Lord, why do I care so much about me and my desires?” That takes an ordinary desire [for approval, love, acceptance, belonging . . . ] that has grown to extraordinary proportions so that it is a ruling or even idolatrous desire, and it brings that desire back to being an ordinary one in which other people’s poor opinions can hurt us, but not control us.
And who are other people? We want to love them just a little more than be loved by them.
Q: You write a lot in your book about worship. Tell us why this is such an important theme and how it applies to the issue of people pleasing.
Worship seems like a once-a-Sunday thing, but Scripture puts life in either/or terms: either we love God or something else, we trust in God or something else, we bow down to God or something else. Bowing down or worshipping is a vivid and accurate way to describe what is always taking place in our hearts. The word control gets at it. What controls us is our god. What controls us is what we adore and worship.
Q: How can recognizing everyone in our lives—acquaintances, loved ones, friends and enemies—as FAMILY change our perspectives and the way we live with and think about others?
We can have wretched families that are more like enemies than families, but most of us are familiar with relationships in which we love people freely. We don’t have to put on airs, we are always wondering what they are thinking about us. Instead, we simply love and enjoy them. When we are interested, we are more interested in them than we are in what they think of us. That recognizable experience moves us toward a way out from this particular human struggle. At the end of the day, love God and love your neighbor is where we will find lots of answers.
About "What Is He Thinking??"
In WHAT IS HE THINKING??, Rebecca interviews a range of men from high-profile types to the guys next door, men that every woman can relate to. Although the interviews focus on single guys ages 18-35, Rebecca also includes words of wisdom from older mentors she respects who have been successfully married for years, people like her dad, life coach, and pastor.
The men share their thoughts on topics like how women can respect themselves and the men in their lives, modesty, purity, taking it slow, friendship, letting guys lead, and more. This book gives them the floor to say what they would really like women to know.
The men respond candidly to questions such as:
•What is the most attractive quality to you in a woman?
•Is modesty truly attractive?
•Is neediness a turn-off?
•What do you find beautiful?
•How can we be dependent on God for our identity, not on you?
•How can we help you with boundaries physically?
Rebecca also discusses her own dating life, speaking openly about the single life, her struggle with loneliness, and her hope for the future. She challenges women to see the men in their lives as brothers in Christ and to trust God with their dating lives.
About the Author:
Australian born Rebecca St. James is a Grammy Award winner and a multiple Dove Award recipient, with international success that has driven her record sales into the millions. In January 2008, she was named Favorite Female Artist in Contemporary Christian Music by readers of CCM Magazine for the seventh consecutive year. Rebecca also won Best Female Artist of 2007 from Christianitytoday.com-her fifth consecutive year to be given this honor. She's been involved in several film productions and voiced the character of Hope the Angel in VeggieTales' bestselling DVD production The Easter Carol.
My Thoughts and Review:
Have you ever wondered what men might be thinking about dating, love, and marriage? Wish you could read their minds :)? This book gives you that opportunity. Rebecca St. James (recently married) interviewed 16 single guys (18-35) and 11 married men whom she respects. Even though I prefer courtship over dating, I found this book to be an interesting and informational read. You will find Biblically sound advice, wisdom, insights, and even some surprises. Dating can be daunting, dangerous, and depressing. However, if you approach it with caution and discernment that is based on God's Word and His leading, you can be confident that your relationship will bring honor and glory to God. I still feel that the dating concept is like a rehearsal for divorce. You change your date when you're no longer in love or no longer compatible or ..... (fill in the blank). I believe a genuine friendship and eventually courtship is a more wholesome way to go. Nevertheless, this helpful book can still benefit single ladies who follow courtship and even married women (the better we understand men, the better it is for wives to understand their husbands). At the end of the book, the author includes the survey questions she used in case readers want to interview their guy friends and learn more about what men are thinking. I'd like to say this: I'm extremely thankful that God arranged my marriage to my husband/my best friend (a man after God's own heart) and that I don't have to be in the dating game...whew :)!
Giveaway: You can win a copy of this book. The giveaway ends 10/30 at midnight Pacific time. To enter: "Like" the book's Facebook page. Then leave a comment here letting me know. Please also include your Facebook name and your email address.
"Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
The Shunningis the Hallmark Channel Original Movie starring Danielle Panabaker & Sherry Stringfield. The DVD was released on 9/13/2011.
Beverly Lewis' The Shunning - About the Movie
Before she succumbs to cancer, the dying wish of Laura Mayfield-Bennett is to be reunited with the daughter she never knew. Unfortunately, that daughter, Katie Lapp, is a member of the Amish order. Katie is about to be married, but uneasy about the path ahead. Now she discovers the secret her parents have kept from her: she's adopted.
The film is based on the celebrated first novel of the best-selling "The Heritage of Lancaster County" book series from author Beverly Lewis. Stars Danielle Panabaker & Sherry Stringfield.
BEVERLY LEWIS - Author of "The Shunning" Beverly Lewis, born in the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch country, is The New York Times bestselling author of more than eighty books. Her stories have been published in eleven languages worldwide. A keen interest in her mother's Plain heritage has inspired Lewis to write many Amish-related novels, beginning with "The Shunning," which has sold more than one million copies. In 2007, Lewis' "The Brethren" was honored with a Christy Award.
Lewis has been interviewed by both national and international media, including Time magazine, the Associated Press, and the BBC. Lewis lives with her husband, David, in Colorado.
My Thoughts and Review:
Raised in an Amish community in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, Katie Lapp struggles being an Amish. To conform to their beliefs, she has to constantly fight against her passion for music (guitar playing and singing) and confess as if it was sin. She's about to be married to the Bishop, yet she can't shake off the love and fond memories she still has for her deceased boyfriend. One name, Laura Mayfield, changes everything. The long-kept secrets of the past are threatened. The promise is broken. The family love is tested. The true identity is discovered.
I have never read the book but I was totally captivated by the movie :)! I've always been intrigued by the way the Amish live. I love their simple living but I don't agree with some of their beliefs/rules. I've heard of "shunning" before but the movie really made me feel so sad for those who have been shunned. It's a very cruel way of punishment. It's not a way to show the love of Christ for sure. The unconditional love of Christ leads to forgiveness, healing, and restoration. I had sympathy for both birth mother and adoptive mother in the movie. I cried and I did not want the movie to end. I wish it would continue; I wanted to know what happened next :). This is a touching movie of love, forgiveness, and family. It's a story of two worlds (the Amish and the English) colliding in a tangle of adoption, deception, and emotions.
GIVEAWAY: You can win a copy of The Shunning DVD. To Enter: "Like" The Shunning's Facebook page and then leave a comment here including your Facebook name. Make sure you leave your email address, too. Deadline: Sept. 30th at midnight (Pacific time)
For extra entries (please leave a separate comment for each one you do):
- Follow this blog via GFC or NetworkedBlogs
- "Like" my page "Christ Alone" on Facebook
- Follow me on Twitter: @treasuredbyGod
- Share the link to this giveaway post on Facebook
- Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter
- Enter my Ginny Owens' CD giveaway
- Enter my Jeremy Riddle's CD giveaway
"Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
I love Selah, especially when they sing hymns :)! They have very beautiful voices. I was so excited to have an opportunity to review their newest album, "Hope of the Broken World" which is released today!
This album includes 12 songs:
On the Mountain
Hope of the Broken World (see a music video below)
Shelter Me
Coat of Many Colors (written by Dolly Parton)
He'll Hold You
Be Still
Moments Like These
I Turn to You
Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus (a hymn written by Louisa M.R. Stead, c.1850-1917)
Threshold of Glory
I Look to You
When Love Was Slain
My husband and I enjoyed listening to this album. It consists of various styles of music. Shelter Me (based on Psalm 91) is a fun song with country music feel. Coat of Many Colors is a folk song/story-telling song. Selah did a cool rendition of an old hymn, Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus, with a bonus of singing in African language (Did you know that Todd Smith, one of the singers, grew up in Africa?). Moments Like These is such a tender song about children and parents; it made me cry. On the Mountain is an upbeat, catchy song. Hope of the Broken World is a soothing song about Jesus who is the Light and Hope of the World. Some of my favorites are #2, #7, #9, and #12. All songs have great lyrics/encouraging messages. Selah is truly a talented group. I can listen to this CD over and over again :).
