Saturday, April 12, 2014

Keys to a Highly, Happy Marriage

Have you ever looked at happy couples and wondered what the keys to their happy marriages are? Now you can find out! Equipped with many years of research, the author, Shaunti Feldhahn shares the surprising secrets that seem to be common factors in the highly, happy marriages. These are little things that make a big difference. It's fun to read about and learn from other couples what works and what doesn't work in their marriages. My husband and I have been happily married for almost 23 years. While I was reading the book, I smiled many times since the findings in the book affirm what we have already been doing right. The highly, happy couples keep doing the same habits that benefit their relationship, often without even being aware of what they're doing. Some of these habits may surprise you like going to bed mad and keeping score :). The book offers readers small, doable steps for adjusting their attitudes and actions to achieve success and happiness in their marriages.   

The book includes the survey responses from three different groups: highly happy couples, mostly happy couples, and so-so or struggling couples. It is wise to imitate the patterns of the first group and to avoid the patterns of the last group. I love the Fantastic Five for Him (5 things that a wife can do to make her husband happy) and I totally agree with the Fantastic Five for Her (5 things that a husband can do to make his wife happy). They are small actions that make your spouse feel that you care deeply about them. Simple, yet effective! Know that you have to make choices every day. Choose to put God first and at the center of your marriage, choose to commit, choose to change for the better, choose to lead your feelings instead of the other way around, choose to be grateful, choose to forgive, choose to be respectful to each other, choose to make time for each other, choose to focus on serving your spouse, rather than on being served, etc. Every couple will be much happier if each extends unconditional grace, kindness, and generosity consistently. I highly recommend this wonderful & helpful resource. It's a small book but it's packed with insightful and practical tips and advice for marital bliss. Very enjoyable read (my 20 year old single daughter couldn't put it down :))!

"Our feelings often follow our actions." (p. 106)
"We have found that when we act loving, then eventually, wow, we are loving!" (p. 109)
"But they shared that for them the most life-changing part was treating each other the way God commands--not just to please the other, but to please God first." (p. 188)
"When marriage is forever, the only option is 'Let's work through it.'" (p. 204)

You can read Chapter 1 here.

~I received a free copy of this book via Blogging for Books in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.


Life SPW said...

I liked your post on having a happy marriage. My beloved wife and I have been married for 42 years this July. We are both Christians and I have often told her that I learned how to love her from God who shows us how to truly love by His example, grace and mercy.

Lily Leung said...

Sounds like a great book! Yes, we have choices on how we feel and behave.

Florence Callender said...

As a STS (second time single) person, the advice in this book will help many others avoid ending up like me. Thanks for sharing.

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